Letter to the editor: Thank you for discussing suicide

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I wanted to thank you guys for publishing this and many other articles addressing suicide, depression and anxiety. It never seizes to amaze me the amount of people that constantly find themselves overwhelmed by everyday life in such a prime time of their life; I am no exception. As a student leader, it almost feels like being cheerful is just another difficult task to accomplish throughout the day. I have been hesitant to ask for help or reach out to anyone because 1) My schedule is so busy that I don’t have the time to go find the help and 2) I fear that medication will only do more damage than good. However, reading through Grant Jones’ article I realized that maybe it’s all just a myth and depression and anxiety can be controlled. I have fought depression and anxiety for nearly eight years now. It does not get easier with time. I fear it only evolves into a bigger monster until soon you find yourself endearing the thought of eternal sleep and summoning the kiss of death. Thanks to this article I will see that I make time to reach out to our wellness center and that I allow myself to give medication a chance to help me take a load of the emotions that drown me often. I wrote a poem in honor of Suicide and Mental Illness Awareness and shared it on open mic night a few weeks ago. 

 Conversations with Myself

This feeling is so overwhelming.
Surrounded by so many people and still feeling lonely. 
Trying to keep cool,
But, inside, I just want someone to hold me.
I wish the heart had a shut off button.
If only, if only. 

When did smiling become so tiring?
And the thought of loving,
So terrifying?
When did life become so hard,
You felt the need to caress the thought of dying. 
Was it after countless nights of crying?
Or those crazy nights trying to forget the pain in vain, partying?
So many questions, not enough answers.
This mental illness spreading through you like cancer.
My mind is a battlefield,
Such beautiful disaster. 

I wanna believe that one day,
I will master the art of pain and laughter…
Co-existing with the pain. 
But darling, in the end,
All that remains,
Are the words in your heart, unspoken,
Screaming, “Look at you!
Who could ever love something so broken?”

But sweetheart, we are all broken.
We are all surviving. 
You are no exception.
There’s no room here for you to be dying.
Let’s just make it through today,
Take it day by day.
And in time…
You’ll be glad you kept that blood
Pumping through your veins.

Sandra Aguirre 
Junior from Los Angeles