Reality of marriage hits DSU students

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When students think of marriage, they think of a flashy ring and happy-ever-after, but after they say their “I do’s,” their perspectives change.

Sara Fowers, a junior theater major from Riverdale, has been married for about two years and recalls the excitement she felt before tying the knot, and the steps her and her husband went through to go into their marriage on the same page.

“I think that [my husband and I] went into marriage with very realistic expectations,” Fowers said. “We discussed our family dynamics and the way we were raised, and our parents’ relationship quite a bit throughout our year of friendship and two years of being in a romantic relationship because they were so different.”

Fowers said while she was raised by her mom and stepdad, her husband had been raised by both biological parents.

“No one enters into a marriage thinking they are going to get a divorce, but the realistic thing is that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce,” Fowers said.

Regardless of how much you love your partner, they can still get on your nerves, Fowers said.

“The thing about getting to know a person so well is that person also knows exactly how to push every single one of your buttons,” Fowers said. “When they do annoy or frustrate you, even inadvertently, it’s more upsetting because they know better and it can feel like an additional attack.”

Fowers said although there are ups and downs in marriage, it is hard to put all of marriage into words.

“[It’s] falling asleep and waking up to my best friend,” Fowers said. “No matter how terrible or wonderful my day is, I can always count on the comforting warmth of my husband, who knows me better than anyone, snoring loudly, as a constant reassurance that he is there.”

Dason Ott, a freshman nursing major from Kanab, has been married for a little under two years and has a daughter.

“I expected marriage to allow me to spend a lot more time with the woman I love and begin to build a life with her,” Ott said.

Ott said now that he’s been married, he feels marriage is another way to spend forever with your best friend.

“Marriage is having a best friend you can experience everything with,” Ott said. “It’s having a permanent support group who helps me get through hard times.”

Sydnee Merrill, a freshman criminal justice major from Pleasant Grove, said Utah is different than any other place she’s lived in when it comes to marriage.

“It makes you feel like if you aren’t married before you’re 20 then you are never going to,” Merrill said. “I’ve been fortunate to have traveled a lot and I have seen the other side of that idea.”

Merrill looks up to her parents when she thinks of her marriage in the future, she said.

“I have always wanted to find a love like theirs,” Merrill said. “I have never seen them fight once, they always smile and make sure there was always joy in our home.”