“There goes my childhood, the end of an era, here comes ‘the best years’ of my life, farewell to romanticizing my teen years. Oh… I’m getting older…”
Most of these, I felt as the Earth completed its rotation around the sun for the 20th time in my life, entering a new year.
Throughout year 20, it felt like a switch flipped in my brain. Now I’m no expert, doctor, therapist or have any credentials for that matter. Despite how unsettling turning 20 was for me, I experienced a remarkable shift in perspective and a great amount of good came from it.
There have been distinct trials I’ve had to face in this life, all of which have given different philosophies that I have been able to carry, altering what this period of my life means to me.
After graduating high school, I chose the college path and made it my goal to chase something I enjoy doing and get a degree. I packed up my belongings, leaving everything I held dear to me, my family and those I love, and moved from Seattle to St. George at 18 years old. Facing this obstacle signified an important perspective toward a newfound sense of independence. It was both isolating and confusing to experience true independence for the first time.
Upon entering the “real world” and stepping outside the comfort of home, I found myself responsible for my well-being and found freedom through pursuing my passions. Throughout this journey, I welcomed an open-minded approach to the new possibilities and responsibilities that came.
As navigating reality in search of a place within the world, we desire various aspects of life such as success, a sense of purpose, meaningful relationships, finding religion or spirituality, more time, happiness or other aspirations.
Here is the important part, time. It holds immense significance; it is felt like a thief, taking moments from us that we can never relive. I encourage you to reflect and consider, “When was the last time I was truly present?”
Life is short, so do it. If there is one thing I’ve learned, I don’t want to wake up one day wishing I had done more. Life is beautiful. I have learned to trust God, absorb the beauty of nature around me, roll down my windows even if it is freezing outside—blast the heat in the car—exist confidently, watch the sunset, living each day as if it is a precious gift. I find joy in the little things and I tell the people I love that I love them.
I understand that today is my only certainty, and my responsibility is to seize the opportunities presented.
I have learned to be selfish and set things aside to prioritize the time I need to find myself. Healing is linear, and it is OK if it endures longer than expected.
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. You’re 20, so you will inevitably experience heartbreak from the ones you love or people whose intentions were unclear. I have experienced the bittersweet reality that I was loved by people who didn’t mean it, was told that “I was everything and more,” was told “I was too much” or that “I needed to change things about myself.”
In every difficult or beautiful circumstance, there is a lesson that I was to be taught.
It has become clear to me that I am the author of my life. If I am unhappy, I take a step back to reevaluate what is draining happiness from me and politely remove it or them. There is no perfect trajectory to life. If I need a fresh change of pace I will find a new pace; wake up early, go to the gym, go on a walk, take a drive, go on a trip or discover a new hobby to fill the time.
No textbook will guide you along every step of this time in life; it is up to me to determine what I do with what I have been given.
My perspective has taught me I am not supposed to understand everything. Who said we were? It is OK to ask questions and change perspectives on what you believe in. I have changed my major twice. I have thought about dropping out of school to pursue a dissimilar career. I call my mom daily to talk about what I did today. I still call my dad if I’m having car troubles. I live paycheck to paycheck and don’t have a savings account.
There is beauty in the unknown. Uncertainty can be terrifying, but not having a plan can be liberating. Isn’t that such a beautiful thing? The unknown in my life has nourished paths for me to explore the potential and ability I hold.
It is all about perspective. A switch in perspective has the power to reroute your path. So, slow down, you are doing just fine. You are where you are supposed to be right now.
“There is a version of you 10 years from now, begging you to cherish these years a little more.” -Unknown
