“So, you do ketamine?” is what a colleague asked when he found out I was from Utah and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
This colleague, casually asking this question, didn’t realize the frustration I have with the popular show, “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.”
The “Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” streaming on Hulu, is a disgrace in representing the Mormon culture, and it misrepresents the religion and community.
It bewilders me that nine women can misrepresent a religion and culture with over 17 million people worldwide.
Stereotypically, being “Mormon” (more accurately known as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) comes with some classic questions:
“How many wives do you have?”
“Why don’t you drink coffee?”
“Where are your horns?”
But this new question of the use of ketamine, which is tied to the show, sent fumes through my ears.
No, I do not recreationally or medically do ketamine. Most members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints do not either (I do not speak for the religion or community).
The cast members of “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” are tarnishing the typical understanding of Mormon life, misrepresenting millions of faithful members.
I have never met a swinger, or “soft swinger,” in the church. Nor have I met people in the church as dramatized or so far from the church’s teachings who claim to be members.
Nobody who is a member of the church is perfect; absolutely no one is. But I question why these women were placed in a show catered to a religion, when some don’t practice.
Your “average Mormon” is your neighbor in Texas, a single mom working overtime while taking care of her kids. It is the woman down the hall, secretly battling depression. It is the grandma who pioneered feminism in her community to help inspire and change future generations.
We are athletes, leaders and ordinary people living all over the world; not just in Provo.
If you find these women in your communities, hear their story. They are smart, hardworking and inspiring. This will give you real entertainment, not curated and misleading storylines.
Yes, we do love Swig and soda (my order is a Raspberry Dream), but members of the church do not actively participate in more than half of the things displayed in the show.
It is frustrating when a religion that I have grown up with and surrounded myself with is mocked in such disparaging ways. It hurts when I know women who have impacted my life in so many ways, being associated with this show from an outside perspective.
I know that the women in this show are just showing their lives for reality TV, and that is OK. A part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is to have free agency and to choose how you live your life.
What gets me is when they are tied to such a powerful name and mislead the image in such a wrong way. Call it “Real Housewives of Provo,” and do not associate it with a global religion in this kind of way. Do not use religion as a money grab.
It makes me question if this was the secret lives of Muslim or Christian women, would the show get away with the name, or is it because of Mormonism that producers of Hulu can continue to mock and use the name?
This isn’t the first time The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has been downgraded and mocked in pop culture and it, unfortunately, will not be the last.
I invite people to understand that this religion provides peace and contentment to so many people who live their lives innocently. They are not swinging, drinking or causing intense drama. They are not secret, scandalous or crude.
So the next time someone asks me if I do ketamine, or assumes I live like the women on a Hulu show, I’ll tell them the truth: I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and my life looks nothing like that. I’m not a secret wife, a swinger or a storyline.
Call it entertainment, call it drama, but do not call it Mormonism.
