Living the Life: Follow ‘Boyfriend etiquette’

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A house of four girls can quickly turn into an episode of “The Real World” if you aren’t careful with house standards.

Let’s talk boyfriends.

It’s not uncommon to have each girl’s boyfriend or significant other over at the house at any random time during the day. It’s even less uncommon to have a fridge full of food depleted in just a few short days.

Boyfriends are a given when living in a college house. They come and go, and it’s always nice to have some manly protection around the house just in case those creeps next door decide to reveal themselves to the house of girls to their left. 

However, I do believe that each roommate should adhere to “The Boyfriend Etiquette” when considering just how comfortable they want their beau to be around the house. 

Giving them the key to your heart, not your house

Boyfriends shouldn’t have a key to the house. Though it’s sometimes needed with shared responsibility of a pet or plant, having your roommate’s boyfriend wander in whenever he feels so inclined can sometimes be disrespectful to your daily Insanity workout or romp around the house in your undies. Because let’s be honest: you don’t want anybody seeing you do that.

If said boyfriend needs to enter the house while said girlfriend is away, she should do one of three things: No. 1, make sure roommates will be gone at the time he needs to enter the house, and leave a hide-a-key for him. No. 2, make sure roommates will be home, and give them a heads-up to let him in. No. 3, have him be a patient man and wait an hour until you get home to come over to borrow that cup of sugar.

Let them shower you with love, not shower with your Dove. 

Boyfriends should not shower at the house. I don’t care if you were just getting down and dirty in the basement, or if you just returned from the river with friends. Boyfriends should shower at their own apartments and run up their own utility bills. I don’t want to pay for your boyfriend’s clean bod, and neither do the other three girls. Should you choose to allow him the privileges of hot water and soap, be prepared to pull just a little extra cash from your account this month. 

Helping empty your trash vs. emptying your fridge. 

Boyfriends should not eat all your food. As a house full of struggling college students, that cottage cheese in the fridge clearly marked with my initials should not be gone when I get home for an afternoon snack. If your boyfriend wants to store some snackage of his own in the fridge or pantry, fine, but tell him to keep his grubby mitts off your leftover fro-yo.

Touching your heart, not your unmentionables. 

Boyfriends should refrain from any motherly house duties, such as doing your laundry. You are a big kid. There is really no reason a boyfriend should be playing the role of mother and doing your laundry. Are you married? No? Well, then stop. Guaranteed he isn’t thrilled to be doing it, and you should be making your main man feel like Prince Charming, not your Cinderella.  

Boyfriends are great to have around a house full of sometimes clueless girls. Lightbulb changing, cockroach killing, and other duties of the sort scream for a manly man to complete them. But consider boundaries, ladies. Follow the “The Boyfriend Etiquette” and avoid the drama of the real world.