Navigating college as newlyweds

Sydney Berenyi-Lasike and her husband, Sione Lasike found a way to keep their marriage a priority throughout school and work. They were married on June 10, 2021 and have kept their relationship strong by always finding time for each other and remembering their promises to each other. Photo curtesy of Sydney Berenyi-Lasike.

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Are you a newlywed in college? Are you scared of the hardships that might come from school and marriage? Here are some tips to help you get through it.

Make your marriage a priority 

Of course school is important, but don’t let it overrule your marriage.

According to The Dating Divas, “As a student, it’s easy to let everything fall through the cracks.”

It can be overwhelming to be newlywed in college because college students have a lot going on. Make sure to not keep bumping your marriage down on your priority list, though.

“At first, it was hard for me to adjust to my new schedule and not being able to spend most of my time with my husband like we did during the summer, but by taking a few hours out of our busy days to come together and prioritize each other and our new relationship as husband and wife really helps me,” Dixie State University alumna Sydney Berenyi-Lasike said.

Berenyi-Lasike got married to her husband, Sione Lasike, on June 10. They are both students and have full-time jobs. Though they might not get to see each other as much as they want, Berenyi-Lasike said the few hours they do get to see each other means the world to them. 

Take the time you have together and learn your spouse. A big part of good marriages is they know how the other works, when they’re anxious and how to fix it. It’s important to know how your spouses ticks and what to do when something goes wrong. 

Find a schedule that works for you

When you’re first married, all you want to do is spend time together and strengthen that bond, but when classes and work are thrown into the mixture, things can be tough. Find a schedule that works for both of you.

“We made sure all classes and work is done by 5 and we have time together from 5 p.m. on,” said Bridgette Christensen, a junior biology major from Delta.

Christensen and her husband, Nolan Toomer, got married on Aug. 13 and make sure to always have time for each other.  

If you have opposing class schedules and one of you is home when the other isn’t, things will get hard. Sit down together when planning for classes and piece together the perfect schedule that fits both your needs. 

Balance your social life 

It’s very possible that you and your spouse will have different social circles, friends they spent time with before getting married. Don’t let that stop. You each need to keep your friends. They were with you before your marriage after all. It’s important to keep your friendships strong. It might even be nice to find another married couple to hang out with. 

“We do lots of intramurals and activities with friends throughout the week as well as a couple evenings just for us,” Christensen said.

Finding people in common with you could help find that balance. Start a new hobby that you both like, something that lets you spend more time together and gives you the possibility of meeting new friends. 

Set goals together

No matter what the goal is, setting an achievable goal you and your spouse want to go after is healthy. Planning your future, where you want your lives to go together will help you hold each other accountable for these goals, and you will push each other to achieve them and stay motivated.

“We are each other’s biggest supporters,” Berenyi-Lasike said. “We both want to see each other graduate, so we push each other to do well in school, get our homework done, go to class on time, and do our overall best in school.”

Berenyi-Lasike said they also try to remember the promises and commitments they made to each other on their wedding day to inspire them to do better in their relationship every day. 

Through it all, you’ve got a partner for life. They will be there to have your back and pick you up when no one else will. You have your best friend and spouse rolled up into one person and it’s wonderful. It will be hard, especially when balancing school as well as your marriage, but there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. According to The Dating Divas, you need to work for it, make sure you aren’t losing your marriage to school, and enjoy your married life.