Online dating is a weird and unreliable way to meet people, yet 300 million people worldwide choose to use dating apps.
I’m one of those people. Having downloaded Bumble almost a year ago, I’ve been swiping left and right ever since.
Despite the unnatural situation dating apps put you in, I still log on almost every day to see if there are any people with similar interests as me.
Why? Well, because it’s easy. I’ve heard countless stories of my mom and dad having to ask for someone’s number, call them on their landline and ask them if they want to go out only to hope they will show up when the day comes.
With dating apps, I simply have to swipe left or right, message someone I match with and ask them when they are free.
However, easy doesn’t always mean it’s the best option. I still find myself constantly preferring to meet and get to know someone in a more natural way. Maybe I run into them in class or the library or a mutual friend introduces us.
The majority of the dates I have been on with people I’ve met on dating apps have been weird, awkward and not at all what I had hoped for.
Dating apps are simple, but they force people to be in situations they otherwise wouldn’t be in. Getting to know someone in person may be scary, but getting past that protective wall you both have built can result in a more natural relationship.
When you see someone on a dating app, you may find them attractive or like one of the jokes they have on their profile, but you are only seeing what’s on a screen. You can’t get a sense of their personality or actual characteristics, which may result in a very awkward first date.
Dating apps also present the risk of catfishing. Catfishing is the act of creating a fictional or deceptive persona on the internet. This is something that is all too common on dating apps. At least 10% of online dating profiles are fake.
Imagine you match with someone on a dating app you’re interested in, so you message them and find they have many of the qualities you are looking for in a partner. You continue talking and getting to know each other until you ask them out. They agree, and you show up to the date to find someone that not only looks nothing like the pictures they’ve posted, but they also lied about their interests and qualities to get your attention.
Many of you may be familiar with the Manti Te’o story. For those who aren’t, Te’o was a college football player at Notre Dame. He was dating somebody online who he believed was a girl named Lennay Kekua. During Teo’s senior year, he was led to believe Kekua had died only to find out from the media Kekua didn’t exist. He had been catfished and publicly humiliated.
Catfishing is not only morally wrong, but it can be dangerous as well. Online predators commit around 16,000 abductions every year.
Although dating apps can be dangerous, some ways to stay safe when online dating are to:
- Wait until you feel comfortable
- Tell someone where you’re going
- Meet in public
- Stay sober
- Provide your own transportation
Dating apps also create cynicism around dating in general. As I mentioned earlier, most dates I have experienced through dating apps have had weird results like awkward dinners and minigolf with almost no talking. This has caused me to see dating as something to dread as opposed to something to be excited about. Dating can and should be fun. It is a chance to get to know people and make friends. Despite a few positive dates here and there, dating apps have changed my view on dating for the worse.
I’ve talked a lot about the negatives of dating apps, and why I prefer different means of meeting people. However, that doesn’t mean they’re all bad.
As previously mentioned, dating apps are easy. They cut out half the steps previously required to go on a date and make the process much smoother. They can also bring together and connect many people who otherwise would have never met. According to a study done on the pros and cons of online dating, 12% of adults said they have entered a committed relationship with or gotten married to someone they met online. This just goes to show that what may not work for one person may work for someone else.
With that being said, I suggest you introduce yourself to your classmates or someone you bump into, but if that doesn’t work, dating apps will always be there.
