Question: How do you let someone go when you know they aren’t good for you?
New year, new me. Yes, we still have a full month before the end of the year, but it is time to start thinking about how you want to improve in the coming year.
Do you want to start eating healthier? Do you want to start being smarter? Do you want to start feeling happier?
Well, those goals are attainable, but you can’t reach your goals without the help of others. The people who are in your life have a big influence on who you are, what you do and how you improve. But, it’s important to remember that influences aren’t always good.
As the new year quickly approaches, it is wise to look at the people in your life and consider who is bringing you up and who is bringing you down. After reflecting, take action and look at either letting people go from your life or bringing new people in.
Although this is easier said than done, at the end of the day, you are what matters. If you really want to achieve your goals, then you need to start surrounding yourself with people who will help you turn your goals into a reality.
How to let someone go
There comes a point when letting go of someone becomes the only option for obtaining a happier life.
But the question is, when do you know if you should let someone go? When you start to feel emotionally drained and dread seeing that individual, it’s time to let go. If you start to feel them causing you low self-esteem, it’s time to let go. When they aren’t putting in the same effort you are putting in to maintain a relationship, it’s time to let go.
Even when people may be bringing us down, oftentimes we still value having them in our lives. Whether it is the memories we’ve made with them or the lack of having other people in our lives, letting people go can be hard, but you need to put yourself first.
Communication is key when letting someone go. Let the individual know why you need to move on in a respectful and sincere way. Not only will that make you feel better, but it’ll allow the other person to reflect on why this has to happen. Sometimes that communication will be enough to encourage them to change the bad habits they are doing to bring you down.
After you have let them know, take time for yourself to heal from letting this person go. It’s OK to process your emotions, but don’t view this situation as a loss. View it as a success in prioritizing your well-being.
Before you can fully overcome the healing process, know that forgiveness is key to moving on. Forgive the people who have wronged you and move on from the past.
Letting someone go will hurt, but in the end, you will feel so much better without the unnecessary weight of that person on your shoulders. By doing this, not only will you have better health and more confidence, but you will also have time to form new relationships with those who value you.
How to let someone in
Sometimes letting someone go can be just as hard as letting someone in. The people we have dealt with in the past can often cause damage, making it hard to be OK with letting someone else in our lives.
When I went through a breakup this year, it was so hard to want to get back into the dating environment. The pain I felt through that experience was enough to scare me away from meeting anyone new. Why would I want the possibility of reliving those poor experiences with someone new?
As I went through the healing process and took time to myself, I realized that just because it happened once did not mean it would happen again. I knew that in order to advance in life, I needed to put myself back out there by letting someone new in.
What I learned through letting someone in was to take time to let things happen naturally. If I was going to rush anything, I was going to hurt my chances of letting someone in and allowing them to stay for good.
I also learned how important it is to remember my values of what I look for in a relationship. You don’t have to let just anyone in your life. Only the people who represent what you want should be worthy enough for your attention.
Lastly, when letting someone into your life, be OK to open up. Let others know what you have been through and how you feel. The only way others are going to be able to understand you is if you learn how to communicate with them. You don’t have to tell them everything right away, but you do have to be willing to progress day by day.
The most important reminder is that people come and people go. Each person in your life has a different purpose. Some people will test you, some will teach you, some will use you and some will bring out the best in you. Very few of those people will be with you throughout your entire journey, so know it is OK for people to exit your story.
This life is about you and you only get one chance to live it to the fullest. As we get closer to the new year, let go of those people who are no longer helping you achieve your goals, so you can enter 2024 ready to accomplish everything with the new people coming your way.
If you are seeking advice on something, it can be anything, message me on Instagram at @angelsunnews.