Question: Are you really just a girl?
Dear readers,
You know that phrase, “I’m just a girl?” If you’re anything like me, you use it frequently to justify the mistakes, mishaps and moments where you just don’t want to do something.
Forgot to set my alarm. I’m just a girl.
Procrastinated completing an assignment. I’m just a girl.
Visited Indy Clover for the third time this week. I’m just a girl.
The last time I said this phrase was when I was standing in front of the earring wall in Claire’s trying to figure out which pair of earrings I was going to buy. As my fiancé pressured me to hurry up, I replied, “I’m just a girl.”
That is when some lady replied: “Don’t say that. You are not just a girl. You are way more than that.”
Whether or not she understood that this phrase was just a joke, I felt embarrassed for having said it. First off, don’t tell me what not to say. Second, who was this random lady who seemingly cared about my self-worth? That’s when I started reflecting on what this phrase really means and why this “random lady” was so important in shifting my perspective.
There is a negative stigma behind the phrase “I’m just a girl.” It can sound like we’re downplaying our strengths, capabilities and potential, using it as a way to excuse ourselves from mistakes or indecision. While it’s meant to be playful, it unintentionally reinforces the idea that being “just a girl” means being less capable or confident.
As practiced in one of my classes, when you tell yourself something over and over again, you start to believe it. As a guy stood at the front of the classroom, my instructor asked him to hold his arm out and not let her push it down. He was able to keep his arm firm in the air as she pressed down on it.
Then she asked him to hold his arm out and repeat 10 times that he was worthless and had no value. As she went to press down on his arm again, the student was unable to keep his arm in the air.
Although this activity was done to simply demonstrate an idea, it was emotional having to watch this play out because how many times do we tell ourselves we can’t do something or aren’t good enough?
I’m not smart enough to pass this test. I’m just a girl.
I’m not strong enough to finish the workout. I’m just a girl.
I’m not fun enough to go out with friends. I’m just a girl.
When we reinforce these ideas in our heads, they become our reality. The more we say “I’m just a girl” as a justification, the more we begin to believe that those limitations define us. It’s subtle, but over time, this seemingly harmless phrase can chip away at our confidence and self-worth.
But here’s the truth: you’re not “just” anything. You are strong, capable and multifaceted. As cheesy as this may sound, you are exactly like a diamond because diamonds are cut to be multifaceted. With many different sides and attributes, these diamonds can reflect light in the most beautiful way. In the same way, you have countless sides to you — strengths, talents and experiences that allow you to shine.
Not only are you comparable to a diamond, but you have the power to overcome challenges, the intelligence to succeed and the resilience to bounce back from failure. Being a girl doesn’t make you less. It makes you part of a powerful legacy of women who have fought hard to achieve many amazing things.
So, instead of using “I’m just a girl” as an excuse, let’s flip the narrative. Next time you catch yourself saying that phrase remind yourself of your accomplishments, strengths and unique qualities.
Remember, you are not just a girl — you are more than that.
Sincerely,
Angel Wood
If you are seeking advice on something, message me on Instagram at @angel.utahtech.
