Question: How do you find your person?
Dear readers,
We spend our lives looking for “the one,” but what if finding your person isn’t a search at all? What if it’s just a long waiting game until the universe decides you are ready?
As much as I wish I could tell you that you need to do this and need to do that to find your person, there is no actual rule book to finding your soul mate.
The most I can give you is this.
Put yourself out there. Go to events. Go on as many dates as your heart desires. Travel the world. Meet new people. Scroll on as many dating apps as you’d like. But at the end of the day, you have no control over when or how you are going to meet your person.
Here’s what I mean.
I spent my entire high school journey longing after this one boy. It wasn’t until my last semester of high school that I finally found the courage to make a move. Well, we dated for a year, and this was who I thought would be my forever. Truthfully, part of me, deep down, knew he wasn’t going to be the one, but at that time, I didn’t care. I just wanted to get married.
Then, this guy wakes up one day and tells me one thing that I will never forget.
“You need someone who is going to go to church with you.”
Such a random thing to say to someone that to anyone else may seem so forgettable, but to me, that changed everything. You’ll find out why.
We broke up. I cried and cried and cried until one day, a family friend, we call him the “love expert,” said it was time for me to get back out there. He signed me up for Mutual and controlled the app for me for the first couple of days. He swiped up on everyone. He responded to all the messages. He sent compliments to many, even the ugly ones. And then he gave me control of the app.
I never thought I would find my person on a dating app. Remember, I thought I had found my person on my first day of high school.
But there he was, the first person I swiped up on and messaged would turn out to be my forever, the person I am marrying in less than 50 days. To make this story even crazier, he was based out of Fort Worth, Texas. I was based out of St. George. And out of all the people who use the Mutual app, we found each other despite being over 1,000 miles apart.
The universe has a weird way of bringing people together.
A couple of months. That’s all it took from the time of my high school breakup to finding my fiancé.
My fiancé who was going to go to church with me.
To find your person, you need to know yourself better than anyone else. What do you love? What boils your blood? What are you attracted to? What can’t you compromise? What do you need? What do you want?
Religion plays a huge part in my life, and I knew I needed to find someone who loved God as much as he loved me. My ex was never going to be this person. At the time, he knew me better than I knew myself. If I had been more in tune with who I am, I would have realized we weren’t aligned in the ways that mattered most, saving me time and heartache in the long run.
Now, I know not knowing who your person is causes heartache itself. It’s scary. It’s uncomfortable, and it brings on so much anxiety.
Will I ever find my person?
Will I ever get married?
Will I ever have kids?
Will I ever be happily in love?
Get rid of these thoughts and stop worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet.
Your person is out there, somewhere on their own journey, finding themselves just like you are, waiting patiently till the universe brings you together.
Stop searching for love as if it’s something you need to chase down, and instead, live a life that feels true to you. As cliché as this may sound and as tired as you might be of hearing this, you really will find your person when you least expect it. They’re out there, and they’re worth every second of the wait.
Sincerely,
Angel Wood
If you are seeking advice on something, message me on Instagram at @angelwoodknow.
