I’ve got the Gen Z stare — and I don’t plan to change that anytime soon.
Like many discussions surrounding Gen Z’s behaviors and attitudes, this debate started on TikTok, where it quickly became an avalanche of personal stories, rumors, jokes and skits. According to Millennials, Generation Z has lost the ability to handle social situations effectively. We’re awkward. We’re too quiet. We’re weird.
And as a member of Gen Z, I know exactly what they mean. I’ve felt the awkwardness — but not for the reasons they want to believe.
I, like many Gen-Zers, grew up in the online world. Every element of our life and personality is up for criticism if it isn’t tailored to fit a specific narrative, aesthetic or lifestyle. Even then, we’ll still face criticism. At 8 years old, I started my first YouTube channel. By 13, I was learning how to “build my brand.” I restarted, posted more and looked to many of my favorite accounts as role models.
My generation modeled ourselves after internet heroes and superstars. We bought hoodies, mimicked posting styles, gushed about how much we loved them, only to learn these heroes weren’t anything like their online personas. Influencers like SkyDoesMinecraft, Cryaotic and Ned from The Try Guys didn’t just disappoint, they broke trust. We didn’t love them; we loved who they pretended to be.
After so long watching the downfall of titans at their own hands, there’s almost nothing I know more than a persona. Mine, yours, I can see it. So can other Gen-Zers, and we hate it.
Authenticity is at the center of this debate, not an inability to socialize. The Gen Z stare is just one of the most recent signs of a growing need for authenticity — our little rebellion against the digital revolution. We’re tired of the scripts, so we stopped using them.
The awkwardness I feel isn’t because it’s quiet or I don’t know what to say, but because you insist on continuing a conversation I don’t want to have. I’ve heard this script and seen this persona. What more is there to say?
I want to hear about your proudest moments, not the weather. I don’t want a “good” in response to “how are you?” Tell me you feel alone, or excited or scared. Ramble at me if you must, but just be real.
Sure, not every occasion calls for a full ramble, especially not in the case of customer service, but it’s equally authentic for an interaction to be brief.
When I buy a coffee, I don’t expect the barista to make conversation with me before making the next order. A quick nod, a smile or even nothing is fine. Sometimes, a coffee’s just a coffee, and that’s authentic, too. No one owes me a persona, and I don’t owe that to them.
So no, I won’t be “working on” my Gen Z stare. I’m not losing my authenticity — certainly not adopting another unnecessary persona — to make you comfortable. Life isn’t a play, and I’m not following your script.
