One tablespoon of vanilla.
One cup of vinegar.
Two tablespoons of cinnamon.
One tablespoon of chili powder.
A pinch of insanity.
That’s a recipe for a crazy fool like myself.
I’m calling this next challenge the Table-Top-Double-Dog-Dare. Do not attempt to do any of the following, as all of the stunts were performed by a moron.
Aaron Camis, a senior business major from Big Piney, Wyo., requested that I consume a variety of items found in the kitchen. All the products I ingested, although edible, are intended to be diluted in foods.
A popular Internet fad is the cinnamon challenge. This involves someone attempting to choke down at least one spoonful of cinnamon.
I didn’t know a spoonful of cinnamon would invoke the awful experience I encountered upon consumption, which came swiftly and at full force. I could have shoved hot coals into my mouth and had a more pleasant experience than the rage of my lips, tongue and throat, all screaming for mercy. I threw up within seconds and could not swallow more than a few grains of cinnamon. I flushed out the burning sensation with water and tried it again, only to spit that out as well.
After I regained my strength, I prepared myself for the next round: chili powder. I had my game face on, ready to take on more heat. I filled my spoon, skipped the countdown, and went at it. Chili powder was not terrible because it wasn’t spicy like I thought it would be. It just tasted bad and got stuck in my gums. I expected much worse, but I still threw up because of the grossness and possibly there was some leftover cinnamon mixed in from my mouth.
The second round hadn’t been so bad, but I knew I had an ocean to cross with my next challenge. Vinegar’s sour sting has always been difficult for me to mask, even when drenched in other, more docile liquids, like olive oil. I stared that bottle of apple cider vinegar down. It was a standoff, and only one of us was going to win.
I wanted to hit this one head on and strong, so I filled up a cup. I counted down from three and threw it down as quickly as I could. My throat and insides cringed in agony. A mental image of something else I had done in my past moved down to second place in my list of “Stupidest things I’ve done in my life.”
It took a few minutes before I was OK with my existence on earth again. I was a little beaten, but I still had enough willpower to face my final challenge: a spoonful of vanilla. Too much vanilla had ruined some of my recipes before, giving things a musky sludge flavor in its over usage.
I sipped the vanilla slower than the other items. It tasted like too much vanilla, but went down fine, even soothing the pain from the vinegar. However, after a few minutes, my stomach started churning in strange ways and the vanilla flavor came back into my throat and mouth. I didn’t throw up, but I felt sick for the next four days.
Table top challenges aren’t worth the bragging rights. I would suggest anyone taking up one of these challenges to consider receiving no less than $5, and $20 for vinegar consumption.
Keep the danger coming. Visit www.facebook.com/requestrobby and post your comments and challenges.
Keep the danger coming. Visit www.facebook.com/requestrobby and post your comments and challenges.
