“That’s What She Said”: Women want respectful gentlemen

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He’s in every movie, magazine, hit television show, and everyone wants to date him or wants to be him. Who is he? He is a gentleman. 

The classy gentleman dresses well, smells good, opens doors for everyone, communicates well, and has sexy confidence. Besides describing the perfect man, what do all of these things have in common? Respect. Showing respect for himself and others is the most important attribute in a true gentleman.

Respect is an essential part of relationships, and it is something many people desire. One might ask, “How can I become like this gentleman?” I have a few ideas that might be able to help.

A gentleman is chivalrous. Newsflash: Chivalry is not dead. Just because it isn’t as common nowadays doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist anymore. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s opening and holding doors for people, offering your seat to someone else, and even considering the thoughts and opinions of other people. These may seem obvious, but a few chivalrous gestures can get a man from average Joe to gentleman status without much investment.

A gentleman is not afraid to show some emotion. Show the world you care about something rather than being upset about last night’s football game. This will go a long way. Showing some emotion helps those around you determine the fact you are not a complete robot.

I’m not saying you need to cry as much as your girlfriend does when watching a Nicholas Sparks movie, but you should at least share some of your feelings. It doesn’t have to be cheesy, but letting those around you know how you feel is a great way to build relationships and create rapport.

It can be as simple as, “I really liked that movie you picked out for us to watch.” Or if you didn’t like it, be honest about how you feel. Most guys I know would probably say, “That really sucked; you are terrible at picking out movies.” Instead, try being a bit more respectful and say, “I didn’t really like that movie; can I pick out the next one?” That way, you maintain your gentleman status while effectively communicating your feelings.

A gentleman always respects women. This may be the most important aspect of being a gentleman. Every woman loves a true gentleman, and this is mostly because he treats her well and she can trust him. Trust is generally reinforced by respect shown by the gentleman.

My dad has always been a great example of a gentleman. I never questioned the respect he had for my mom because he would show it every day. Whether it was listening to her talk about the events of her day or opening the car door for her, his actions always demonstrated the respect he had for her. I know that my mom and dad trust each other and their trust has been reinforced by the respect they continually show each other.

From chivalrous actions to open communication, the gentleman is always showing some form of respect. To all men out there, respect is what most women want, and you can give it to them. It’s the secret to relational success. It’s simple enough that if any man wanted to become a gentleman, he could do it.

Also, this is for all of the women out there. If you are expecting a man to be a gentleman, you need to act like a lady. Women need to have respect for themselves and for everyone around them. Dressing inappropriately and being irresponsible and self-centered are not going to land you a gentleman. If you have such high standards for men, you should have them for yourself as well.

The bottom line is, respect is what makes a gentleman and what makes a lady. Respect comes in many forms, and it’s important to have for others as well as for yourself.