Utah Tech University students are doomed to be roofied.
While taking my daily stroll between classes, I can almost always count on someone going around in a golf cart or sitting at a booth hollering at me to take their free treat and handout.
One afternoon, as I was taking in my surroundings, I noticed a familiar sight. It was what I suspect was a student walking around campus offering a free treat to students. This time I couldn’t help but think, “Huh, this guy could casually be roofying people left and right right now.”
He had all of the qualities necessary for a trustworthy, free handouts guy: a jolly smile, a confident voice and a wagon. If the guy has a wagon, he must be trustworthy, right? Maybe not.
Now, I’m not saying this student was a threat at all, and he probably had a tasty snack I could’ve munched on between classes, but it made me think. How hard would it be for students at Utah Tech to be roofied?
The student body is basically trained to pounce on any opportunity for free handouts. The campus clubs and organizations are extremely generous and also know free food is basically its own love language. Busy, poor and hungry students may not have time to drop into the on campus Chick-fil-A for lunch, but what’s the harm in grabbing some free hot chocolate from a random vat sitting on a table right on my pathway to my next class? What could go wrong? The person handing it out is so jolly!
Fill out this free five-minute survey for the chance to win a king size candy bar. Join our club, and we will give you a free donut, groceries and Chick-fil-A food. It’s first come, first served. Take this free rose. Doesn’t it smell nice? Free dinner at the institute building. Come one, come all.
These are real life, free handout moments that have happened on campus and will continue to happen because they are great for the student body. They have been nothing but a successful way to interact and give back to students every time.
Students know the campus is safe, and these free handouts shouldn’t contain any unidentified substances, so grabbing a quick snack is harmless and basically comes with their student fees. Who’s to say it never could happen? I can’t be the only person wondering how easy it would be to roofie the student body of Utah Tech.
If I went around campus with a box of Crumbl cookies and a handout that said, “Go Blazers! Follow us on Instagram @utahtechstudents,” those cookies would be gone in minutes. Students would trust me solely because I am tying myself to a university organization when in reality, I’m simply being a menace.
It is fantastic that with Utah Tech being named one of the “safest campuses in the nation,” the student body can subconsciously take these free handouts with not a single dose of doubt or fear in their mind. This reputation rings true for good reason, for all of the free handouts were safe and true to what met the eye.
It is also important to recognize the “ignorance is bliss” lifestyle that has been trained into us, and that students on campus should consider being a little more conscious of what they are taking and who is giving it to them. Because as mentioned above, it’s easier than one would suspect.
With the status the student body is at today, I know if I went around campus with a jolly smile, a good message and a wagon, my victims wouldn’t suspect a thing.