For some students, the decision to attend college means figuring it all out on their own, financially and emotionally.
There are many circumstances that can lead to a student becoming estranged from their family, may it be differing morals or religious beliefs, or because of emotional and/or physical abuse. In some situations, estrangement is a choice made by a student for their own well-being, and in others, the student may have been cut off or had no other option.
I personally made a decision to remove myself from an unhealthy family situation, and in doing so, I made going to college more complicated for myself.
I understand how the processes put in place make things difficult for students who lack support from their families. It is hard to explain to someone how you had to remove yourself from your family for your own well-being, especially living in Utah, an area where there is a close-knit family culture. There is a fear of judgment when detailing the condition of your relationship with your family.
One significant repercussion of lacking family support is financial struggle. I was able to fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid with just my own income information. However, I had to also prove that I was estranged and detail the circumstances that led to my estrangement. The funds I was applying were for my education, so having to explain why my parents were not providing any income information seemed unnecessary.
My FAFSA form was able to be submitted with just my information, but in order to receive the aid, the university requires an application for a dependency override. This application requires a student to submit certain evidence to the school in order to justify their estrangement in the eyes of the university. This evidence may need to be provided more than once, therefore making the student rehash their situation over and over.
The circumstances that led to my family situation involve the death of one of my parents and the breaking off of contact with the other. These are not details I would like to have to explain to the university every year.
In order to prove my case to the university, I had to have several people who knew my situation write letters on my behalf. I was fortunate enough to have people willing to write them for me, but some students are not. In addition to those letters, I was required to provide a personal statement letter detailing the date of my last contact with my parent and why I no longer had contact with them.
Attending college with all its included costs and responsibilities can be an overwhelming thought for anyone. Without the support of a family, a student may not want to take on these stresses alone. In a sample of 584 students in situations of estrangement, 41% of them had either differed or contemplated removing themselves from their studies altogether.
Without the assistance of financial support from their families, estranged students may have trouble meeting even their basic needs such as housing, food and transportation. Focusing on college and grades may feel unimportant to a student who is concerned about buying their next meal or making rent.
Personally, when I was going through the process of getting financial aid and figuring out what steps I needed to take to be considered independent to the university, I questioned why I needed to do all the extra work. I felt like as an adult, I should be able to apply for financial aid without having to give the reason for my less-than-perfect relationship with my family.
The first step universities and FAFSA should take to better the process is being more aware of the situations estranged students face and providing resources for them. Listening to these students and their needs and finding ways to make resources easily accessible and consistent will aid these students in navigating the process better and make it less intimidating.
Mental health in these situations should be prioritized. When feeling overwhelmed by the weight of their situation, it is important that students have outlets to talk about their struggles. Simply having access to counseling would greatly impact students who feel like they are going through this alone.
The support these students are missing from their families is tremendous and has a large impact on their college experience. Students estranged from their families should have access to support elsewhere, and providing some of this support should be a priority at universities.
The process I had to go through felt unnecessarily complicated, and I felt nervous that my situation may be deemed not bad enough for the university to consider me independent. When others are making judgments about your life, it is hard not to feel a little helpless. By voicing our needs, we can bring attention to the flaws of the process and influence changes for its improvement.
