Question: Do traditional dating standards still apply?
Dear reader,
I wait all excited and nervous for my date to get to my house. Pin curls in my hair, makeup polished and dress clean. He greets me at my front door, shakes hands with my parents, opens my car door, pays for my dinner, and then drops me back at my door planting a kiss on my cheek before my curfew.
Well, at least that’s how I imagine it would go if this was still the 1950s.
Now that we are in 2023, things are a little different, and by a little, I mean a lot. Those traditional dating standards are slowly starting to fade away if they haven’t already disappeared off the face of the earth. But, is it OK that they are going away, or should they still be as applicable today as they were decades ago?
Let’s take a look at a few of the most important and controversial traditional dating standards to see if they are outdated or up-to-date in the dating world. Ladies, listen up.
Guy pays for the date
We will start strong with the most controversial dating standard yet. Does the guy have to pay for the date?
This is one of the few cases where it depends on the circumstances. Who asked who out first? If it was the woman, then the woman should pay. If it was the guy, then the guy should pay.
But, it is also important to think about the message you want to send to your date. Sometimes the message men send when paying for your meal or movie ticket is that they want something back in return. Are you willing and interested in doing that, or would you rather stick to just being friends? Upon determining what you are looking for out of the date, offering to pay for yourself might be the best way to go about it.
Remember, the guy doesn’t have to pay for every date and expenses can be split. If he pays for dinner, offer to pay for dessert.
As a good rule of thumb, ask your date if he would like you to pay. It shows respect and consideration. Most of the time, the guy will say “No, I got it,” or “No, I asked you,” but even still, you will feel better about them paying if you offered to pay in the first place.
Guy makes the first move
Girls. Don’t wait for the guy to ask you out or for him to make the first move on you. Sometimes if you wait for the guy, you may be waiting forever, so go get him if you want him.
The worst he can say is “No,” but at least you know you tried and that he isn’t the one for you. That’s OK because there is someone out there that is.
Don’t be scared to make the first move. It shows confidence and determination, which are attractive traits to have in today’s world. Not only that, but this traditional dating rule has been around for ages. It’s time to cut men some slack and start putting in the hard work.
But, after making the first move, give it some time and allow him the chance to make the next move. If he doesn’t, that can be a sign that he is not interested in furthering the relationship.
Guy goes to the door
Ever heard of stranger danger? No way am I letting a random date know where I live and allowing him to walk all the way to my dorm door just to pick me up. Sounds like a “Dateline NBC” episode waiting to happen.
For college students, it is a little different because most of us live in dorms and apartments, making it difficult for men to park, get out of the car, get into buildings and walk up flights of stairs just to get to where we live.
But, I do appreciate the date that offers to pick me up, especially if I feel comfortable with that happening. It shows he cares and still has some traditional values that he adheres to.
If you don’t feel comfortable with your date knowing where you live, feel free to let him know you will meet him somewhere else. One, that is the safer option, and two, it allows you to leave whenever you please rather than waiting for your date to drop you back off.
Guy plans the date
What happens if you don’t like Olive Garden or if you are lactose intolerant and Cold Stone Creamery is on the date’s agenda? What about your deep fear of horror movies or your hatred for bowling?
Getting the woman’s input for date ideas matters, so offer that input when it is applicable. I understand guys wanting to do all the heavy lifting to make a good first impression, but sometimes that first date without a woman’s say can quickly result in failure.
Take turns planning dates and work together to plan something you both want to do.
Guys and girls. Realize that it is 2023, and just because your parents followed all the traditional dating rules does not mean that you have to as well. Pave your own path. Start your own rules. Throw out some of the old ones.
Your future person might be just around the corner, but you won’t know unless you dare to break the rules our previous generations never dreamed of breaking.
Sincerely,
Angel Wood
If you are seeking advice on something, it can be anything, message me on Instagram at @angelsunnews.
