Question: How do you propose?
Dear readers who want to propose,
A vision of white lace, a long train and a whole lot of sparkle walking down the aisle. Heads turn while beautiful music plays with the most loving people in attendance. They wait to hear “I do.”
I’ve dreamed of a perfect wedding day since I was a little girl. But what I’ve recently been dreaming about is a proposal, which can be just as exciting. It can also be just as scary and lead to failure very quickly if it’s not done right.
A proposal should be special, and if it is not, awkward moments can happen, embarrassment can be had and a “no” can be given.
So to answer the question of how to propose, truthfully there is no right answer. Proposals are different for every couple, and just because a proposal works for one couple doesn’t mean it will work for another.
To find what proposal will work for you and your significant other, the first thing you need to do is make sure you have communicated with your person about what they want a proposal to look like. I don’t believe in the phrase, “If they wanted to, they would.” Rather, I believe if they knew you wanted them to, they would. The only way they will know how to propose is if there is communication involved. Failure to communicate can result in something like the following situation:
You take your introverted SO to a baseball game, in which they don’t like large spaces or baseball to begin with. You have communicated with the employees who run the jumbotron to display the following message: “Will you marry me?” Embarrassment takes over your SO as they think this proposal is cheesy, unthoughtful and cliche. “I thought my person knew me better than this,” they think to themself. Shortly after, they shake their head “no” humiliating you in front of thousands of people and your favorite baseball team.
Well, that was awkward. This proposal could work for an avid sports-lover couple whose first date was a baseball game, but it is not for everyone. Not to scare you away from proposing, but this is why communication is so important.
Every person has a list of proposal rules, whether it is written down somewhere or roaming around in their head. A couple of my rules are that you ask my parents’ permission, take me somewhere that means something to the both of us, have a photographer and let us pick the ring out together. To find your SO’s list, ask questions including the following:
- Do you want it to be in public?
- Do you want it to be on a special date?
- Do you want there to be a photographer there?
- Do you want your family to be in attendance?
- Do you want it to be more casual or more fancy?
- And most importantly, what do you want the ring to look like?
Also, make sure the answers to the questions are things that you both want or are willing to compromise on. A proposal should be comfortable and special for both people as it is essentially the beginning of a life-long commitment. Once you feel you have a good idea of what your SO wants in a proposal, then plan away.
The key word is “plan.” Don’t throw something together overnight. Make it special and put thought into planning. See what’s already been done and how you can make it special for your person. Trust me. We can tell when thought has been put into something you do for us.
Now, when do you propose? We live in Utah where people are getting engaged left and right. This has made me want my proposal to come even faster, but that does not mean that now is my time. The same applies to you. Don’t feel pressured to propose just because everyone around you is getting engaged.
There is no set time for when to propose. It could be months or years depending on the couple, but when the time is right, you will know.
Now the thing that may keep people from proposing is fear. What if they say no? What if it’s not good enough? What if, what if, what if? Drop “what if” from your vocabulary because what’s meant to be will be no matter the circumstances.
With this in mind, we will go back to baseball with some wise words from baseball legend Babe Ruth: “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”
The game of love can be scary, and it can be hard. There will be curve balls that you don’t expect, foul balls that don’t go your way and strikeouts that just simply hurt, but at the end of the day, you can win with proposing if you communicate, plan and overcome fear with confidence.
Sincerely,
Angel Wood If you are seeking advice on something, message me on Instagram at @angel.utahtech.
