Question: How do you feel about motherhood?
Dear readers,
I’m a digital media major. What am I going to do with my degree? Be a mother.
Here I am in college with three weeks left in my final semester and 30 days until my wedding. Truthfully, I entered college 2 ½ years ago without knowing exactly why. I knew that my biggest goal in life was to be a wife and a mother. In the meantime, college was my next best option, so here I am trucking along.
But at the end of the day, when I’ve graduated and have my degree up my sleeve, I don’t want to be a news anchor. I don’t want to be a social media manager. I don’t want to be a journalist. I want to be a mom.
Was college all for nothing then? Of course not. I wouldn’t have traded my college experience for anything because I know I was meant to go for a reason. In some way, shape or form, I will use my degree one day whether it’s to educate others about what’s going on in the world, create a blog to share my own experiences or do social media and writing on the side, but that’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life.
Anyone who knows me knows this.
What hurts about wanting to be a mom is not that it won’t happen for a while. What hurts is the people that tell me it shouldn’t happen.
“Wait until a couple of years.”
“Wait until you’ve settled down with your husband.”
“Wait until you get your master’s degree.”
“Wait until you’ve traveled the world.”
“Wait until you have more money.”
“Wait until you’re actually ready.”
“Wait. Wait. Wait.”
I smile and nod as you tell me the things I’ve heard countless times already. As you walk away, I say thank you for your advice, but what I really want to say is this.
If I waited for all these things, I’d never be ready. I’ll never be prepared enough. I’ll never be wealthy enough. I’ll never be knowledgeable enough. But there comes a point when you know in your heart that you are ready.
Every mother’s story is different, and just because some moms have regrets about getting pregnant too soon or doing this and that “wrong” doesn’t mean you have the right to tell me to wait. You don’t get to make me fear that I’ll have the same regrets as you.
Your story is not my story.
You telling me to wait doesn’t make me doubt my ability to be a mom. It doesn’t make me think, “Oh, well, maybe I should wait.” It honestly just boils my blood.
The main reason people tell me to wait is this.
“Angel, being a mom is so hard.”
Yes, I am aware of that. I have a mom. I’ve watched her for 20 years struggle, cry, mourn, sacrifice and push through every hardship with strength I can only hope to emulate.
But I’ve also watched how happy she is fulfilling the one job she always wanted. When I ask her if there is anything she would have done differently, she always tells me she has no regrets. She says every challenge and sacrifice was worth it, and that the joy she feels now wouldn’t be the same without her kids. Her journey hasn’t been easy, but she’s shown me what it means to follow your heart and find fulfillment in what truly matters.
It’s because of her that I want to be a mom, and when I tell her I want to be a mom, she doesn’t tell me to wait. She doesn’t make me doubt my dreams. She doesn’t make me feel like I can’t have what I want. She encourages me wholeheartedly, reminding me there’s no perfect time to pursue motherhood and that following my dreams is worth every challenge.
To my mom, thank you for being the mom I hope to be like one day.
To my future kids, I can’t wait to meet you.
To myself, when you are ready to be a mom, you will know it in your heart, and you will be the best mom you can be.
To everyone else telling me to wait, thank you for your concern, but this is my dream, my heart and my journey.
I’m not going to tell you to wait to be a doctor or a teacher or an entrepreneur. You’ll have plenty of waiting to do yourself. So don’t tell me not to follow my path just because it’s different from yours or doesn’t make sense to you.
I may not have it all figured out, but I have a vision for my life, one that includes raising a family and nurturing a future I have waited a lifetime for. So when the time comes, I’ll embrace it, ready or not, because I believe that some dreams are worth stepping into even before we feel completely prepared.
Sincerely,
Angel Wood
If you are seeking advice on something, message me on Instagram at @angelwoodknow.
