Women shouldn’t let gender stop them from asking others out

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From middle school to college, ladies everywhere eventually ask that one question: How do I ask this person out?

Asking people out can be intimidating, whether they are a guy or a girl. The mere thought of asking someone out can be frightening and almost nerve-wrecking. However, it doesn’t have to be. There are some pretty basic steps you can take to asking that guy your choice on a date. 

Step one: Don’t wait

We are in the 21st century. If you want to ask someone out, do it. Going from personal experience, I can guarantee that he has no idea as to what’s going on in your head. No one is a mind reader, ladies. 

Step two: Be confident.

No one likes a shy kid. You need to exude confidence. You need to believe that you are top dog and that nothing can bring you down. On the flip side, don’t act arrogant; while being confident is a good thing, acting like you’re better than everyone else is not.

I’ve seen it a million times; girls will either act too shy or too arrogant when asking someone out. I’ve never seen it work, either.

The best example I have of the proper attitude is when my friend decided to ask out her now husband. We were all out to dinner, and he was two tables down. She saw him, decided she liked his look, and told us she could get his number. Then she walked over and told him that she’d like to take him out for dinner if he was single. He was shocked at first but agreed to go on a date.

Step three: Calm down.

You don’t want to be so enthralled with your crush that you can’t speak.

Yes, you’re nervous. Yes, this is exciting. Just take a deep breath and count down from 100. You’ve got this. There’s no need to rush out that little question; after all, you don’t want to seem like you can’t keep your cool.

Try to walk up to him and treat him like he’s normal. Either introduce yourself if you haven’t met or ask him how his day is going; when you’ve felt like you’ve established that casual conversation, ask him if he’d like to catch a movie some time, or maybe grab a bite to eat.

Step four: Don’t let rejection get you down.

Rejection hurts. However, it still happens. If you’re rejected by a crush, go eat some ice cream, watch a couple of chick flicks, and then get back on the horse. Don’t let past rejections interfere with future possible relationships. If you live your life afraid of getting hurt, you’re not really living.

Step five: Don’t beat around the bush.

Again, no one is a mind reader. Just straight out ask the question: Will you go out with me? It’s not complicated and requires only a yes or no answer. So, don’t accidentally confuse your crush with lengthy questions or awkwardly worded phrases. Just say what you want.

Step six: Don’t dumb yourself down.

To whoever keeps perpetuating the myth that guys like ditsy girls, please stop. All if the guys I have ever talked with want someone they can have a conversation with—and not a conversation about shoes. Be that intelligent girl everyone knows you are. If your crush doesn’t like that, you don’t need to date him anyway.

Step seven: Don’t overdo it on the first date.

I know so many girls who’ve planned this big romantic first date and they’ve inevitably scared the guy off. So, for your first date, don’t plan anything too expensive or too grand. Mini-golfing, going to the movies, or going to dinner are all good date ideas, even if they sound cliché. Take him on a date that’s light and casual, but also fun.

If you choose a movie or dinner, come to a mutual decision. You don’t want to seem too controlling, and by including him in the decision, he’ll know you’re not.

Ladies, asking that slightly special someone out isn’t as difficult as it seems. You can do this if you just set your mind to it.