Month: October 2012

Open, close, open again and continue to stare just one more minute into the barren wasteland you call your refrigerator.

Perhaps one of the biggest shocks that came with moving out on my own was, the fridge that I once could always count on to be full of my favorite after-school snacks, in all actuality, does not refill itself.

There is no little food elf who lives quietly on your butter shelf, replenishing your food supply while you sleep. You have to actually get your body out of the apartment, into your car and over to the nearest or favorite grocery store and fill that squeaky cart with goodies galore.

But the trick is figuring out what to buy and how to buy it, isn’t it? If you’re anything like me, you grocery shop entirely wrong by big kid standards. Waiting until the fridge and cupboard space you call your own are almost completely depleted, you rush over to the grocery store and proceed to have a small heyday.

I mosey down the aisles aimlessly only listening to my gurgling gut and not so much my whining college bank account. Somehow, the hullabaloo of my stomach muscles magically silences the sound of pennies swiftly leaving my piggy bank.

But alas, in go Rice Crispy Treats, Granola Bars and Fruity Pebbles I leave the grocery store with a car full of savory treats and come home to a fridge still lacking the essentials for a good meal. Slowly I feel my premature heart attack or diabetes creeping up behind me.

However, with some wise words of advice from my mother and other seasoned lone-dwellers like myself, I’m finally getting my shopping habits down pat with these simple tips and suggestions.

Make a list.

Don’t wait until your stomach is screaming at you to make a trip to the store. As you go about your various days and weeks, jot down items you realize you are in need of. When you finish your small block of Tillamook cheese on one last savory quesadilla, add it to your list. That way, next time you’re at the store with a cheese craving, you reach for the proper packaging. And let’s just be clear, no cheese that comes from a can should ever be consumed.

Plan Ahead.

I cannot even tell you how many times I have wandered the aisles of Harmons with every good intention to buy good food, to prepare a good meal, and I walk out of there with two boxes of mac ‘n’ cheese and two family-sized bags of chips. 

Here’s where Pinterest comes in handy, ladies and gentlemen. Get your clicking fingers over to the food and drink section of that outlandish website and pin yourself some recipes. Having a recipe, or at least an idea of what you want to prepare for the week, helps shopping go quicker, helps you eat healthier and helps you hone in on the essentials. 

Clip Coupons.

I know, I know—nobody likes to be stuck in line behind a coupon clipper. And even worse is being the person with the coupons, holding up what feels like the entire city of St. George from going about their daily business. However, when you get your receipt, cast your eyes downward at the small words scrawled across the bottom, “You saved $65.13 today!” and suddenly you are the envy of every St. George citizen, or so it feels.

The fact is, there is nothing wrong with saving money. If that means you have to clip a few coupons and ruin a few patrons’ days to get that hamburger meat for a dollar off, more power to you. You’ll eat that hamburger with satisfaction knowing that dollar went to a greater cause.

Moving away from mom and dad comes bundled with various shocks—don’t let grocery shopping and feeding yourself be one of them. Eradicate the idea of the butter shelf elf: make a list, prepare some ideas and clip some coupons to keep your fridge and your belly full.

In order to be happy in a relationship, one must first be happy alone.

Those who think that respect is dependent upon being desirable to someone else would do well to learn that the happiest individuals are the ones who are respected by and desirable to themselves. 

Being alone promotes the personal growth that is necessary to a healthy, mature relationship.

I can’t tell you how many friends, male and female, have bemoaned their single status to me. As a single lady, I’ve been tempted to do the same, but I’ve had the luck and wisdom to learn from the mistakes and misfortunes of others. 

I have seen many otherwise intelligent individuals jump into a physical and emotional relationship with someone they hardly knew simply because they couldn’t stand to being single. They were so eager to run rampant with a stranger that it made me wonder what they were running from.

If you are addicted to and dependent on relationships, you will take a bad and unhealthy relationship over no relationship at all.

The desperation to be with someone else–anyone else– can drive you to do foolish things and get involved with someone who is far below the standards of the independent, rational and mature version of yourself.

For example, a man dying of thirst at sea is desperate for anything that looks like or resembles water. He may even begin to drink the ocean, but the salt in the ocean makes his thirst worse and kills him faster than dehydration alone. If he had not been in such a desperate time, he would not have taken such a desperate measure.

Unlike that miserable man, you have the ability to rescue yourself. You can remove yourself from that desperate state.  

The thought of being alone frightens many people, but those who let that fear drive them to entering or remaining in abusive or reckless relationships are crippled by something that is meant to empower them.

Consider it; when in a significant committed relationship, you have the strengths of two people to depend on. When single, you must find all that strength in yourself. Exploring the limits of your endurance enables you to use your full emotional, mental, and physical strength which is something that few people ever do. 

In a relationship, you have the life skills and background knowledge of two very different people. When you are alone, you must learn how to do things for yourself. Things like changing a tire, checking the oil, making your own dessert and managing a budget are things you might have relied on someone else to do instead.

In a relationship, you have the perspectives of two separate life experiences, making one’s viewpoint more broad and accurate. When you are unattached, you have to learn to see someone else’s perspective all by yourself. This makes you wiser and improves your ability to communicate effectively with others.

In a relationship, you may depend on others to make you happy. When you are alone, you learn that happiness comes from within and is not dependent upon the acts of others. Once you take responsibility for your own happiness, you begin to take steps to fulfill your desire for happiness, often by pursuing your dreams and becoming a more successful person.

If you are in good company, even when alone, then loneliness is nothing to fear. If you are not desperate to be in a relationship, then you can take your time and choose whether or not to pursue a relationship. 

Finding that you are sufficient alone has another name: self respect. 

Being able to control your life through your strength, skill, perspective and attitude makes you independent. No one respects or pursues a clingy, needy individual but everyone respects and wants to be with a strong and motivated individual.

Once you become independent, you free yourself from the addictive cycle and are able to form mature, trusting, respectful relationships with individuals as independent as yourself.

Those relationships are the best because your other doesn’t need to be with you.

They remain with you not out of necessity, not because they hate themselves and hide it in their obsession with you, not because their self esteem depends on you, not because they need to drown their sorrows in your happiness or fill their emptiness by sucking away all of your life energy.

They remain with you out of choice. They stay because they enjoy your company. They stay because they like, admire, and respect you.

You choose to stay with them because the admiration and attraction is mutual.

Isn’t choice so much more romantic than necessity?

It’s an issue that infects the entire nation and directly disturbs the quality of American democracy: irresponsible voting.

A disconcerting amount of voters today do little to educate themselves on current political issues and the standpoints of the presidential candidates.

Before checking the ballot, I urge voters to do fair research and think critically about their decisions. Otherwise, the voters who determine our country’s future will do so on a flimsy, harebrained basis.

As Election Day approaches, I see an increasing amount of blatant arguing and finger pointing, yet very little reasonable, even civil, discussion.

For example, Facebook is crawling with superficial and closed-minded posts about politics. Not just mine either. Friends, friends of friends, and fellow classmates of mine have all complained about the political rage blowing up their feeds. It seems nowadays peer-to-peer politics is more about being loud and crude.

I also recall an instance when I witnessed a passer-by throw up her hands in frustration about the political hype and cry, “I’m just going to vote for (so and so); he’s better looking, anyway.”

That, right there, is revolting laziness and shallowness. I seriously couldn’t stifle my gag reflex when I heard that. Yes, political decisions are complicated and frustrating. But honestly, if you’re going to be that mindless, don’t even vote.

There, I said it. While I know this country is prided for allowing all adult citizens to vote, I don’t think everyone should.

If you haven’t paid any attention to current issues, or listened to a word of the debates, you shouldn’t even come within 100 feet of a ballot. The less ignorant voters there are, the higher quality of a democracy the U.S will have.

While you might be capable of voting, consider if you’ll actually contribute a sensible opinion. As a service to your country, educate yourself before you step up to that voting booth.

Make sure you also do quality research. Don’t just talk to friends and family. Make your own evaluation; go to the primary source. Watch the debates. If you do use secondary sources, make sure they are from people with reliable and sensible opinions, not just raging, finger-waggling extremists.

Also, research all parties in the most balanced manner possible and be sure you are forming a fairly weighted opinion. Don’t just look for things to bash on a predetermined opposing candidate, which brings me to another disconcerting aspect about voters.

Many people seem to already know which candidate they’re going to vote for even before the debates begin.

This is an example of closed-mindedness at its worst.

Affiliated voters may develop into these beings who determine no matter what, they will always vote for their single, long ago chosen political party.

I’ve noticed many people base their decisions closely on their family’s political views. It’s understandable; if you’re raised with a certain set of values, sure, you’re most likely going to adhere to them throughout the rest of your life.

However, that doesn’t mean you should follow those values without question. As you draw closer to adulthood you should, at some point, critique the values you adopted from your parents. It’s called independent thinking. Until you do this, you will never grow to be your own individual.

I remember when a classmate of mine blatantly made sure everyone around him knew he was purely Republican. However, when we took a test to determine our actual party affiliations, he turned out to be more of a Democrat. He was furious.

Because of this, I came to realize many voters might not even know what party they truly belong to, if any.

Make sure you actually know what party you’re affiliated with. Take a simple political quiz to evaluate yourself. An easy, accurate and informative quiz can be found at www.isidewith.com.

Educate yourself, research issues if you don’t fully understand them, and see for yourself who you agree with most. Exercise responsible voting.